Its officially over.

okay.its over.finally over.
Wat i mean is..

My birthday.
Its joshua's birthday today o_o

I've been trying to choose for few weeks adi.
I think i know whos the one.
But i cant leave the other one.
I dont wanna hurt anyone's feeling.

I'm stucked between.
I dont know wat to do.
None of my fren's understands.
Except one of the him.

Sometimes i wondered.
Why am i the special one that gets to choose.
The more they say they like me.the more i scare to face them.
I'm not shy.just that i dont know wats the best way to tell one of them that u dont love them.
especially when they're both best frens.

Some ppl wants a bf so much that they would do anything to get one.

I'm the dumb one tat doesnt reali care.

I told the god i like him last year
den this year i told the god i like another one.
n now my dreams came true.
Both of them came at the same time.
i guess dreams come true with a catch behind it.

n when i'm ready to choose him
Another girl appeared next to him
Which i can say she likes him very much.

everything happens when i got the answers.

Last year i liked him.

And suddenly someone told me he likes sumone else.

i cant get thru the things thats blocking my way.

I'm invisible.
But i cant walk thru anything.
I'm not dumb
But i'm not smart either.
I'm stucked
But sumtimes i feel loved.
I'm happpy that i'm not poor.
But i'm not happy that i'm not rich.

I'm not even near to perfect...
If Everything's blocking my way.

I thought guardian angels were surpose to guild u to the bright side.
But why everytime i close my eyes.
I'm still thinking alot of stuffs.

Is my guardian angel sick n it cant find a substitute angel?

I forgive it.
But i cant forgive myself for telling some lies that i'm hiding so long.
I wish sumone could talk to me right now.

U din appreciate me well.
So mayb i'm letting you go.

Its not you.its me.
Okay fine that was just a way to make u not feel bad.
Its actually you not me.
Your the one being so selfish.
U show me every dark side of u.
N u didn show me a bright one.

Everyone told me this n that bout youu.
I dont know if its true.
but then i finally saw it.
Your just same like the other retards.
The ones that doesnt care ppl's feelings.

I said many times that i'm letting you go.
but sumtimes i just cant.
The way u treat me good n the way u treat others not so good.
Actually made me feel so special n satisfy.

But sumtimes.
U showed that Your frens are important den me.

I know it sounds stupid.
But try to feel the feeling when someone special likes to be with your frens more den u.

I tried everything to not hurt anyone.
But this choice.is just either hurt you or him.

I cant choose Not to choose.

He made me feel special.You make me feel left out.
He made me laugh.You made me cry.
He stays with me.You run from me.
He's honest.Your a liar.
Everything i see inside u is just negative's one.

Wat u want me to do.
Feel guilty my whole life for choosing you?

Nah.i'm not wasting my life just like that.Your not worth it.
everything comes to an end.

So. wat goes around comes around.
Someone will put an end to it.
its getting late.my cousin's coming at 2pm.n its12.50am now.

I'm going to bed.
Good night,angels.